I am very grateful for what I have. I live in a nice house, my family is healthy. My husband and I have good jobs. We are happy together. But I have this vision in the back of my mind, I am sure I got from movies and pictures on the internet.
In this vision it is always bright and sunny no matter where I go. I don’t even think night time exists in this world I see. Some days I get to be the business woman dressed in designer outfits that goes to meetings and drinks fancy lattes out of paper cups. And sometimes I am a stay at home mom that gets to bond with my child all day every day (probably more than he would like). If there is a job out there that doesn’t mind me working two hours a week and pays extremely well, please inform me.
We take exotic vacations and actually attempt to do things, and not sit around by a pool all day. Where is this adventurous girl? She seems like a blast. We have the time of our lives and will have stories to share for the rest of our lives.
I also live in a big house that is open and airy. It is magically clean all the time, even though my cats shed like motherf… The decor always suits my needs and wants for the time being. Sometimes I like rustic, sometimes I like modern. All the time my husband tells me I can’t change my mind because furniture is too expensive (this part is real life).
Next door lives my best friend. She comes over for coffee and wine unannounced all the time. Our kids are the same age and best friends. Our husbands are best friends. We all laugh together.. Okay, now I am starting to sound like a maniac but I just took my vision and ran with it.
I guess to top it all off, we have a personal photographer that follows us around and documents my awesome amazing life. Is this too far fetched?
What I am realizing, now that I am making a huge attempt to come out of my shell, is that this isn’t impossible. Well maybe to the extreme I describe, but SOME of it isn’t impossible. I can choose my career. I won’t have the lovely hours I dream of (those two hours a week) but it can be flexible enough to make time for my family.
We aren’t strangers to taking the odd vacation, but we are strangers for trying new things. As I have mentioned, we are the “sit around the pool and drink cocktails” kind of people. When we have explored, we enjoy it! My new years resolution is to try new things. It is always a struggle to get my ass off the couch to go out and do something, but once I have done it I am thrilled that I did!
My house isn’t going to magically be clean all the time, but I CAN shave my cats or trade them in for hairless ones. I am kidding, obviously. I can definitely learn to ease up though. Someone once told me that your children won’t remember a clean house, but they will remember the fun they had growing up. So quit cleaning for hours every day and just enjoy this time. I can also be happy with my decor. My house is more modern than rustic so at least half of my dream is coming true. I do love my home.
Yesterday I met up for coffee with someone I met through a mutual friend. She has a son the same age as mine. We went for a walk in the morning and she came over after so our sons could have a play date. Turns out, she lives right behind my house! Five seconds away, I shit you not! Maybe we will all laugh together like a bunch of psychos like I have always imagined.
I suppose it is a tad unrealistic for a photographer to follow me around and document how much fun I have everyday with my perfect life. I can do this for myself. I have a tripod and a decent camera. Don’t judge me when you see me posing in the street right before heading into a meeting, snapping pictures of myself. Or I am laughing with my friend, and I force her to retell her joke so I can get a picture this time.
The point is, I have a very good life. I think a lot of people have this dream but maybe you need to realize it is just an extension from what you already have and you can get there. Be reasonable, of course. My goal has been to break out of my comfort zone, and I am noticing that good things happen when you do. Don’t be scared!
Me and my wonderful little family:
