I woke up this morning to a hangover telling me I’m an asshole for doing this to myself. Turns out, all the wine I bought for this special occasion was, in fact, enough for 6 people. It was more than enough. I followed through with my back up plan to double my wine intake to put on a performance and guarantee a good time. There was no need for this. All the girls had a blast and got along really well. I just had this great idea where I would drink enough to make me feel really bad in the morning. You know, for fun.
You would never know that most of these girls were meeting each other for the first time. Would you motorboat someone you just met? Probably not. We must have had a good time laughing and getting to know each other because my husband was upstairs and thought I had invited 50 women over to my house, and not just 6.
One of the girls is a magical boob wizard. She can take one look at your chest and tell you what bra size you are. She has a real gift I tell ya. Just stick those puppies out and be filled with wonderful cup knowledge. Don’t you wish you had a friend with this talent?
The only downfall to the night is that half of my guests probably have concussions and broken knees (on top of hangovers). I forgot to warn them how slippery my driveway was on their way in and I was surprised to hear nobody slipped and fell. I also forgot to warn them on their way out… And half of them biffed it. Oops. It’s a good thing everyone drank enough to increase their pain tolerance, and hopefully enough to forget my address so they can’t come back for revenge.
So many funny things happened last night that I feel the world should know. I wanted to make everyone feel jealous for not being invited to the Cool Party, but forgive me because my brain isn’t exactly working today. I will have to rub it in your faces another time. Needless to say, we will be having a Cool Party – Part II.
This is the only proof from the night that shows you I may actually have friends.
